Toxic Leadership in the Workplace: Recognising the Signs and How to Cope

Coping with a toxic manager can be a daunting and emotionally draining experience that adversely affects employees. The signs of toxic management become easier to spot when you start being aware of them, and sadly that is usually because you’ve experienced them firsthand. From gaslighting to feeling burdened by unwarranted blame, the impact of such behavior on mental well-being cannot be understated. Recognising that it is not a reflection of your worth but a manifestation of the manager’s need for control is crucial. Knowing when to prioritise your mental health and well-being by considering leaving the toxic workplace is a vital step towards self-preservation. While the decision to depart may carry feelings of trauma, guilt, and grief, it is essential to remember that putting yourself first is paramount in such situations.

Recognise Toxic Leadership

Identifying a Toxic Manager

A toxic manager often exhibits behaviors that undermine team morale and individual well-being. These behaviors might include a tendency to micromanage, belittle, or engage in favoritism. Such managers may also display a consistent lack of empathy or disregard for others’ contributions. One clear sign is communication that is often one-sided – where feedback and dialogue are discouraged, and orders are given without consideration for the recipients. They might also avoid taking responsibility for their actions, shifting blame onto team members when things go wrong. Identifying a toxic manager involves paying attention to these patterns of behavior over time. It’s not just about a single bad day or a one-off comment; it’s the consistency and severity of these actions that point to toxicity. If you recognise these signs in your manager, it’s important to acknowledge the situation’s seriousness for your mental health.

Understanding the Impact of Toxic Management

The impact of toxic management on employees can be profound and far-reaching. It leads to a work environment filled with stress, anxiety, and a sense of powerlessness. Employees experience a decline in motivation and engagement, which results in decreased productivity and creativity. The constant negativity from a toxic leader erodes self-esteem, making individuals doubt their capabilities and value. Over time, this contributes to serious mental health issues, such as depression or burnout. Moreover, toxic management creates a culture of fear, where employees are afraid to speak up, share ideas, or report issues. This fear stifles growth and innovation, ultimately harming the organisation’s overall performance and reputation.

Dealing with Toxic Workplace

Gaslighting in the Workplace: It’s Not Your Fault

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where a person, such as a toxic manager, makes you doubt your own experiences and sanity. In the workplace, this might manifest as your manager denying conversations that happened, questioning your recollection of events, or dismissing your feelings. They may also give you contradictory instructions or feedback, leaving you confused and questioning your competence. It’s important to know that gaslighting is a reflection of the manager’s desire to maintain control, not your performance or value as an employee. This behavior can seriously affect your self-confidence and mental health. If you find yourself constantly second-guessing your work or feeling isolated because your experiences are being invalidated, it’s not your fault. Documenting interactions, seeking external perspectives, and trusting your instincts are key steps in coping with gaslighting at work.

Navigating Control Dynamics

In a toxic workplace, control dynamics can manifest as a manager’s need to micromanage every aspect of the work or make all decisions without team input. This often leaves little room for autonomy or professional growth. Navigating these dynamics requires a careful approach. Start by setting clear boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate. Communicate calmly and assertively when these boundaries are crossed. It can also be beneficial to seek allies within your organisation who understand and share your experiences. They can offer support and may help in addressing the issue collectively. Additionally, try to maintain a record of your work and any interactions with the manager that demonstrate control issues. This documentation can be valuable if you need to escalate the situation to human resources or consider legal action. Protecting your autonomy in the workplace is essential for your mental health and career progression.

Self-Care and Setting Boundaries

Prioritising Mental Health

When faced with toxic leadership, you’ll need to dig deep and prioritise your mental health. It might not feel easy or natural, and you might even be trying to deny that your wellbeing has been compromised. Self-care isn’t just about the occasional break or treat; it’s about consistently implementing practices that sustain your wellbeing. Again, this means establishing and enforcing boundaries with your manager and colleagues. Clearly define what you’re willing to accept in terms of communication, workload, and personal space. Learn to say no when demands exceed your capacity or infringe on your well-being. Also, invest time in activities that rejuvenate you outside of work, whether that’s exercise, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones. Remember, your value is not solely defined by your productivity at work, and definitely not defined by the actions or opinions of a toxic manager. Ensure you have a support system, such as friends, family, or a counsellor, who can provide perspective and encouragement. Taking care of your mental health is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.

When Your Workplace Harms You

If your workplace is a source of harm to your mental or emotional well-being, it’s a sign that serious changes are needed. In many countries (including Australia) there is legislation about the risks of psychosocial hazards which compromise employee wellbeing. Incivility and bullying are commonly reported by those leaving toxic environments, but seem to be the ones that toxic managers get away with the most.

The first step to addressing this is to acknowledge the harm being done; this is often difficult to admit, especially if you’ve invested a lot of yourself into your job. Recognise the symptoms: increased stress, feeling dread about work, physical symptoms like headaches or trouble sleeping, and a dip in self-esteem. When these signs appear, it’s time to take action. This could mean speaking to your HR department about your concerns, seeking professional counselling, or starting to look for job opportunities where the environment is healthier. It’s important to remember that no job is worth sacrificing your health. Your workplace should not be a place of harm, and you have the right and responsibility to seek an environment that supports your well-being.

Moving On From a Toxic Environment

When It’s Time to Leave a Toxic Job

Deciding to leave a toxic job is a significant step that can be fraught with uncertainty, but it is often necessary for your health and happiness. Knowing when it’s time to move on is crucial. If you have tried to improve the situation with no success, if the toxic environment is affecting your health, or if you no longer find joy in your work, these are clear indicators. Before making the leap, ensure that you have a plan in place. Update your resume, reach out to your network, and consider your financial situation. Leaving a toxic job can provide a sense of relief and open up new opportunities that align better with your values and career goals. Remember, it’s okay to put yourself first and seek a work environment that respects and supports you.

Carrying Trauma, Guilt, and Grief

Leaving a toxic job can often mean carrying the weight of trauma, guilt, and grief with you. Trauma from the stress and negative experiences, guilt from leaving colleagues behind, and grief over the loss of what could have been. It’s normal to feel a complex mix of emotions during this transition. It’s important to process these feelings rather than suppress them. Acknowledge the trauma but also recognise that these experiences have contributed to your growth and resilience. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the job or the ideals you had for it, but try not to dwell on what-ifs. Seeking support from friends, family, or a professional can help you work through these emotions. Remember, it’s not a sign of weakness to struggle with these feelings; it’s a natural part of moving on from a difficult situation.

Making Decisions for Your Well-being

Making decisions for your well-being often means choosing the harder path in the short term for long-term health and happiness. When contemplating leaving a toxic workplace, assess the situation objectively. Consider the toll it’s taking on your well-being and whether the job aligns with your personal values and professional aspirations. Think about the opportunities that could be out there—a chance to work in a positive environment, to grow, and to be appreciated. It’s essential to trust your judgment and not compromise your health for the sake of security. Sometimes, the best decision for your well-being is to step into the unknown and trust that you have the strength to navigate whatever comes next. Remember, you deserve a work environment that supports your well-being and helps you thrive.

What’s in an Emerald Nest Career Recovery Package?

When you sign up for an Emerald Nest Career Recovery Package, our first priority is your mental health and wellbeing, which is why a counselling modality is used to help process the experiences leading you to this point. Once you have strategies to start healing, we include goal setting and practical actions to move you into your new career. This can involve resume writing, job applications, and interview practice. A coaching modality is used to unlock your potential and reclaim your confidence for the next chapter of your unique story. Reach out now for an obligation free chat.